PROFILE

truth.. it isn't so hard, is it?

With the help of two SPS seniors, I still flunked the interview.
I should have know, really, and not add that additional grief to my already weakened ego.
My already damaged pride.
I, Yeo Huimin, was never destined to succeed.
Never.

I'm coughing, I'm sick, I'm having a fever, I'm hurt.
And I'm way past caring whether I can even wake up tomorrow.
The better to intensify my grief over my many failures.
I don't deserve relief from it anyway.
Yes, it's just one interview, it doesn't mean anything.
But enough to push me over the edge.
How can someone not burst when she's filling up so quickly?

Where are YOU?
Asleep and oblivious to the world.
HOW MUCH DO YOU CARE?

It's been a long while since I last blogged.
So many things have happened since the last entry, some bitter, some sweet.

Looking back at all nineteen years of my life, I realise that I have nothing that I am proud of.
What can I be proud of?
My results?
So many regrets... I could have, I should have.
My life?
I haven't been a good friend, neither am I a good girlfriend.

I really want to be a better person.

Looking back, I realise that I have "abandoned" my friends many a time, and yet they have always been there for me.
I have always turned to them for help, and they would always be there no matter what, and yet, whenever they turn to me, I am always not around.
Like right now, when I'm in need of help, deciding which modules to take for the first semester, SY has been there for me.
She even calls me to help, talking to me for long hours, even though she has more or less settled her own timetable.
A simple gesture, but very touching nonetheless.

Right now, life is so intimidating, and I feel helpless.
It's kinda scary, to enter a brand new kind of life.
It's rubbish what they used to say, that JC life is similar to Uni life.
Similar my ass.
I know, I'm anti-social, I'll probably be one of those freaks in the background.
I just know that I can't fit in with the crowd.
I've never been social, never been popular..
I'm just me.
It's not that I care about being popular..or being labelled, I just don't want to be alone.
It sucks walking around feeling as though you're a misfit, unwanted, unnoticed...unseen.
I guess that's why I love the songs of MCR.
I feel as though I'm not alone.
And a bit braver.

Sometimes I feel as though even if I fade away, no one would notice.
Just a shadow, a passing flicker.

I watched the Dark Knight with Daniel.
It was the one movie that didn't fail my expectations, especially after the excellent review given by others.
And it was definitely very haunting.
They made an excellent choice casting Heath Ledger as the Joker.
Although I haven't watched many of his movies, I feel that he potrayed the Joker very well. With his catchy phrase, "Why so serious?", he sent a chill running down my spine every time he spoke.
Heath Ledger wasn't just the Joker, but THE Joker.
His words, though cruel and cold, are true in the sense, the ugly mirror of humanity.
Is the Joker insane, maybe?
Perhaps...
But maybe he sees the ugly side of humans so clearly that he fails to tell the difference between right and wrong any more.
Somehow, I feel that maybe the playing of the Joker affected Heath Ledger in someway..
Maybe it even had a part to play in his death.
So immersed was he in the role, that perhaps he lost himself.
But all we can do now is speculate.

After the Dark Knight, I decided to watch Brokeback Mountain, in search of Heath Ledger's other movies.
I wanted to see for myself, whether it was just, as many put it, "a gay porn movie".
And I'm glad, that at the end... I decided that it wasn't like that at all.

True, there are scenes like that... and I admit I was put off a little.
But in the end, I realised that love doensn't need any reason.
Love isn't right, and it isn't wrong.
I mean, yes, two men loving each other...
It's against the laws of nature.
But thinking about it, who defines what is natural?
If we had evolved in such a way that only same-gender relationships were acceptable... Would we have thought that different-gender relationships were wrong?
Humans are susceptible creatures, tending to follow the trend.
Looking back at years of culture... the way people think can change.
It's the way people think that defines what is right, and what is wrong.
It's the things that our young are exposed to that lets them define what is morally right or wrong.
But then again, who can say whether something is truly right or wrong?
If you were pushed to your limits, and had to rob someone of their money so that you can pay the medical fees for your ill, bed-ridden mother, you wouldn't be right... be you wouldn't be wrong, either.
Would you rather let her suffer and die instead?

Brokeback Mountain really made me think alot.
A sad, touching story.
I always thought that homophobia is wrong, and now, I can proudly say so.


Well.
Huimin finally turns 19.
D:
Sucks.
Well.
A shout-out to those who wished me happy birthday...
Thanks for remembering.
(:

Qiuzhen
Jing Hao
Daniel (:
Weilong
Vincent
Boon Chee
Layhoon
Choon Gim
Weiling
Mei Xuan
Beeying
Boon Long
Shiyun
Jie
Eric
Casper
Wan Xuan
Jialiang
Teehao
Kwee How
Jiale
Fang Zhou

Thank you.
You guys rock my world.
=]

I miss you...
I miss you so far..
And the collision of your kiss that made it so hard...
Well.
I'm addicted to Cemetery Drive... yet again.
Now putting it on repeat on my player.
Used to be I Don't Love You...
Till my dad can whistle along le to IDLY.
Wonder how long he take to whistle along to Cemetery Drive.
^___^

13 Dec 2007...
Our second year anniversary.
(:
So we went to Tiong Bahru to eat at Sakae Sushi.
Hoo boy.
Did we eat alot.
Lemme try to recall what we ate.
7 plates of salmon sushi?
I am a salmon lover.
Muahaaaa.
1 chawanmushi. (ME!)
1 mango salmon roll. (DAN!)
1 salmon skin roll. (ME!)
2 soft shelled crab roll.
2 plates of tofu.
2 plates of potato croquette thingy.
...
And not forgetting the endless other plates that we took off from the sushi train.
Wheee.
We are pigs.
(:
Then we went to watch Alvin and The Chipmunks.
Damn adorable.
Interesting that Jesse McCartney voiced Theodore.
I'll always love you dear.
No matter how little time we'll have together when you go to NS.
I'll be waiting.
(:

Well so it's the new year already.
Just recently realised that some people can be so... mean.
Now i can't decide whether front stabbing hurts more than backstabbing.
Seriously.
One minute you can be laughing and chatting happily with this person and the next... like WTH?
Have to experience it yourself to feel the hurt.
The power of words.
Sighs.
I seriously don't understand.
Used to think that talking bad behind someone's back is bad enough.
If you don't like the person, keep it to yourself...
Why spread the hate?
Childish antics.
I'm sick of what's hidden behind the facade.
LIES LIES LIES.

These are my new year resolutions!
1. Love my family.. Cause they love me, and their love for me knows no boundaries.
2. Be a good girlfriend to Daniel. (:
3. Hang out more often with my good friends.
4. Take good care of Rocky. My lovely chihuahua.
5. Spread love not hate. I shall not gossip like a bitch.
6. Write more. (:

Well.
Recently I started writing stories online.
Received positive feedback from a few people, so i'm quite contented.
Used to dream of being a writer.
I'm amazed that there are people who actually LIKE my stuff and ideas.
It makes me feel...
Powerful.
Good.
(:

Yesterday was wonderful!
Allow me to have a fan girl moment.
OMG!!
MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE WAS THE BEST YESTERDAY!! (:
Ok.
Let me start from the beginning.
So Daniel and I went out yesterday.
And i forgot my camera so i doubled back while Daniel waited for me at JEC.
Then we went to Bugis to walk around, find non-camera phones.
What the hell.
Why all the phones now all got camera.
-.-
Poor ns-men.
Then all the non-camera phones are in fact more expensive than the camera-phones!
What rubbish.
Then we went to have dinner.
Lol.
Daniel and I are really meant to be.
(:
Cause.
We both eat like pigs.
Haha.
Ok.
So i ate chicken rice at Food Junction, den complained i was still hungry.
Daniel ate his Pepper Lunch Express.
Then we shared two pratas, one egg, one plain.
Then we ate dessert!
Like pigs not?
Hahaa.
I love my piggy boyfriend.
(:
Then we went to Max Pavilion and started to queue up.
Then in the end we queue so long ended up queue wrong place.
-.o
They gave us this green wristband to put on our wrists...
Pretty cool.
The idea of TBP was the patient so i guess the green wristband idea serves to strengthen that concept.
So MCR played TBP songs plus songs from their previous album TCFSR.
TBP, Cancer, Famous Last Words, I Don't Love You, I'm Not Okay (I Promise), Helena, Cemetery Drive...
I so love them for playing Cemetery Drive.
(:
Only the Spore Expo Max Pavilion sound system sucks...so the rock parts not that nice.
Sang my heart out along with them.
Abit bad cause Dan wasn't feeling well...
So he was sitting on the floor suffering while i was standing up screaming.
Ah well.
I feel lousy though.
Enjoying myself while he's in such a terrible shape.
I'm glad he's ok now. (:
Sorry dear.
And Gerard Way (lead singer) was so cute.
According to Daniel someone fainted and had to be carried out.
And i think Gerard was like saying if someone faints pick that person up or something like that.
And some people were laughing.
And he was like..."I'm being fucking serious."
There were alot of kids (rather surprisingly actually) and their parents were around.
And he was like using the F-word like no one's business.
At least like 20 over times.
"Lemme see your motherfucking faces! You're all so beautiful."
Heh, not that i mind the word.
But i guess he forgot that we're an Asian society though.
Less open-minded.
I could see the faces of some parents in the crowd.
If looks could kill.
Super funny.
Wonderful night.
(:
I love MCR.

Well so i'm working now.
Night shift.
4-1030.
At Trade Hub.
The pay's quite good.
6.50 an hour, then +3 dollars if you reach a certain amount.
(:
Like the job.
Guess cause most of my friends are there.

Hey all.

FEMALE TUITION TEACHERS REQUIRED AT XUEHAI TUITION CENTRE

Girls only

A level graduates

$10 an hour; Raise in AUGUST

Contract till OCTOBER 2007

Preferably live in WEST

TUITION CENTRES LOCATED AT:

Jurong East

Clementi

Choa Chu Kang

Training provided; Teaching materials provided

Choice of subject to teach

Once a week; 1 hr 45 min per session;

Choice of day to teach

Small class size

INTERESTED:

Email enquiry@xuehai.com.sg with

Contact

School

Results

Sujects keen to teach

Address etc

SEE www.xuehai.com.sg for more details.

And that's a shout-out for those who want a job.
(:

Went to watch ENCHANTED with Daniel today.
Lol.
That show is hilarious and lame.
But quite sweet.
Just that the idea of happy-ever-after is so seriously cliche and warped.
And then Daniel went to get his prom stuff.
Best la he.
Today prom, today then buy.
-.-
He bought a white jacket then complain heart pain cause the jacket's like 99 dollars.
Go figure.
But i think he seriously looks good when he actually dresses up.
(:
Well, today's the last day we can spend together before he flies off tomorrow to HK.
I'll only see him on the 8th.
:(
I can't wait for him to come back already, even before he leaves.
Lonely week ahead.

Oh and i got a job!
Lol.
Clearing dog poo and feeding the dog.
My sis's dog, Rio.
She's flying off to HK on the 21st.
Lol.
5 days.
100 bucks.
Not bad eh.
Haha...
I hope Rio doesn't give me too much trouble.
Lol.

CO practice is on Wed.
Well so i guess i'm more or less in CO alumni already.
Abit strange.
Cause i think i'm the only one.
-.-
Ah well never mind.
Just for one year i guess.

Yes.
I'm officially baccckkkk.
x)
*beams*

It feels good not to wake up in the middle of the night... or rather, in the wee hours of the morning, heart beating so fast you feel as though you're a ticking time bomb.
It feels good not to feel stressed.
It feels good not to stay up late because you have to, but because you want to.
It feels good being able to do rubbishy stuff without feeling guilty.
Like watching tv till 3, 4 a.m.
Or using the computer till your back aches like hell.
Hahaa.
Yea man.
A's are over.
I know.
It's abit weird to blog about it now after it's been over for like...
10 days?
But i've only felt that sense of freedom only recently.
^__^

Gosh i'm damn excited.
11 Dec 2007!
I cannot believe that MCR is really coming to Singapore.
And guess who's going?
*beams*
And guess who's going with me?
*bigger grin*
Haha.
I can't wait.
^___^
And i can't wait for our anniversary too.
2 years!!
(:

Ah well.
I've been catching up on my reading recently.
Haven't read for ages.
I finally managed to borrow James Patterson's When The Wind Blows.
I love this sentence about death from the book.
"When one sleeps, the other weeps"
Really sad phrase.
My grandmother passed away a few weeks before the A's begun.
Heart failure.
I've already experienced 2 deaths this year.
Death of loved ones.
I can still remember what happened at Mandai.
And the grief that was so thick and evident in the air when she was cremated.
And the tears that came so naturally.
"When one sleeps, the other weeps"
How true...

Interesting how a week can make you grow up.
I was pickpocketed on Tueday this week on the MRT train at City Hall MRT Station.
The culprits were caught yes..
A plainsclothes policeman caught two of them.. one who kept a lookout and the other who took my handphone..
Thank goodness for him otherwise i would have lost my phone for good..
Went to the police station at Tanglin and had my statement taken now..
All in all..
It was a pretty horrible experience.
I guess you could say that i grew up.
Learnt more.
This experience has snapped me away from my self-delusion that Singapore is very safe.
And the ugly nature of Singaporeans.
I still remember the split second that i lost my handphone and was panicking when i noticed the look on some people's faces.
They knew.
FUCK.
And they never stepped up to help.
I seem to have bad experiences all the time on MRT stations.

Wednesday 11 July 2007.
We received news that Mr Yeo had passed away.

13 July 2007.
SACO - ex members and current members - gathered at Lakeside MRT station to attend Mr Yeo's wake.

When we arrived at the place where they held the wake, it was a sombre moment as we went in groups to pay our respects to him.
They had placed the huge card we had made for him.. the one we had all wrote notes written on heart-shaped paper and pasted on the board- right next to him.

I admit, there was a small part of me which believed that this was all but just a dream, a joke, and i would wake up the very nxt second laughing at myself for such a silly dream.
The tears came as i neared the coffin and saw Mr Yeo for the last time.
Under the facade of makeup, he seemed fake, plastic..
But I knew it was Mr Yeo.
Mr Yeo who had fought against the cancer so hard for the people who loved him..
Memories flooded into my mind.. of him conducting, of him smiling, of him bringing snacks n sweets for us to reward us for our efforts, of him teaching me how to hold e xiao ba and teaching me my part for the xylophone for FNJ..
He had the most peaceful expression on his face and a slight smile which i knew we would soon never see again.
It took all of my will and strength to tear my eyes away from him..
Undescribable grief and pain...

Listening to weiling making her speech, i knew that all of us were very much affected by the memories that were invoked as she read through all the memories we had of him.
Without Mr yeo, perhaps i wouldn't have begun to love co so much..
Though the time spent with him was short, it was a period that has impacted me deeply..
Mr yeo has given without asking for anything in return.
He has contributed to the success of the orchestra in many ways..
He has patiently taught us.
I only remember he got angry once..
Once..
And that was because we all knew that he was under alot of stress from the school.
His smile..
Always patient.
Always kind.
Always there..

Perhaps i have taken Mr yeo for granted.
I never used to feel close to him, and never bothered to try to.
Perhaps foolishly i have thought that he would always be there for us, with that patient and ci xiang smile that takes all anxiety away..
Perhaps I did not treasure him..
I'm sorry Mr Yeo.
Really sorry.
Rest in peace..

Mr Yeo has taught me all the greatest gift that no one else can ever given - to cherish everything around you.
Everyone, everyfriend, every thing, is there, or happens for a reason.
No matter how minor or how major a role that he or she plays in your life, no matter whether you dislike or you like him/her.
Everyone is there for a reason, to teach you certain principles in life, to help you, to make you mature.. everything happens for a reason.
Cherish all around you, cherish everything that happens..
No matter bad or good, before it's too late for regrets..

Mr Yeo has left us..
Forever and ever.
But the spirit that he has left behind shall never die..

in loving memory of mr yeo puay hian.


4 June 2007.
The official retirement day of the J2 batch of 2007.
Zu Shen Si Yun 2007.


Our poster..


Shenghui, Me, Caiying and Alfred


The rose among the black thorns (:


Pioneer batch of percussionists of 2006


My little surprise.. (:


Me and dear. Roses from him. Love you. (:


*bish*


Miss Wong is so preeetty :D


Percussion and Mr Low (:


Mr Low Vince and Me (:


And i FINALLY got to take an individual shot with MR LOW :D


Saints Orchestra. One family unbroken.

And with that.
That spells the end of all the performances i'll ever have in my life.
It lasted only a heartbeat..
The thrill..
The excitment before the performance..
The utter silence and the wild beating of your heart right before you begin..
And the great sense of accomplishment after it has finished..
Incomparable.
I call it a performer's soul.
The thrill..
Once a performer always a performer.
Though i cannot say it was the best performance i gave,
i can say that i did try my best..
And i'm proud of all my fellow members.
Saints Orchestra has become a part of me..
a part of my life..
So much so that i don't call it a CCA anymore..
But my family.
When i leave..
No more Tay and Yuen.
They never fail to crack me up whenever i'm unhappy.
No more San ge fu lu shou le.
No more xylophone.
No more glock.
No more long teng.
No more practices..
No more common goal..
No more...

And also with that, Mr Low will leave SACO.
It was pure mayhem after the concert when everyone fought to take photos with him.
Angela was the funniest.
She pushed everyone away.
"OY SIAM YOU GO AWAY.."
Lol.
And she got to take her individual shot with him.
It's sad to see him leave.
SACO will never be same without him again.
I think he's the best conductor anyone could have.
And I don't think i have ever respected anyone else as much as i respect him.
After all, he's also part of the Saints Orchestra family..
And i probably won't get to see him often anymore.
:(

Well.
No regrets.
I joined SACO rather unwillingly.
But now..
I love it with all my heart and soul.
And i know..
I'll always be a part of it.

SYF.
10 May 2007.
Our hearts beating as one.
The announcer of the results..
Her voice still rings in my head.
"Bian Hao 13: Shen An De Lie Chu Ji Xue Yuan.
St Andrew's Junior College..
Silver."

Joy.
Pride.
And disappointment.

We've come so far as an orchestra.
What with Mr Yeo having cancer and being unable to be our conductor..
Searching for a new conductor..
Finding Mr Low..
Having to adapt to a new conductor with a very different style..
Sophie falling sick..
Yijia having an injury even before SYF..
And we made it..
As a family.
Whoever wrote those words on the feedback board..
"Please disband CO.."
This is our reply to you...
"We have proved you wrong.. We are as good as anyone else..We will never fall."

We have broken the record..
SACO has gotten bronze for 15 years..
And we have broken it.
We have re-written history together with Mr Low..
With Mr Low, we dreamt..
We reached our goal..
And because of him..
We dreamt of higher ground..
Of course we were disappointed.
Right now..
Is he disappointed with us?
Somehow, i realise that we have let him down..
From a Au conductor..
He has became a Ag/Au conductor..
Liting said he was sad when the results were announced..
But i do want him to be proud of us..
Is he..?
He really was the spirit and hope of the orchestra...

I was so proud on stage..
When David made the right hit..
I smiled..
I truly felt proud of percussion.
And of the orchestra.
So proud.
And i know..
We have all tried our best.
As an orchestra.
As a family.
Unbroken.
United.
Forever.
(:



SACO - The Girls



Men In Black.. (:


Me and Shawn. SHAWN FOR LOY FATT! (:


Me and Ye Han. Sadly. My only percussion junior. =(


Security Post. Lol. David ah. Ruin our act dao photo.


Me and Yong Hui. Er Zi. Haha.


We love being emo. Lol.


We love being super emo.


Being even more emo. Sengyong's pretty scary. Haha.


Me Vince and Mdm Hue! (:


SACO. One family unbroken.


Life goes on..
Soon.
J2s will step down.
No more CO.
Must cherish the times we have left..
One concert, one performance at Bukit Merah, and one CO Camp.
I'll miss everything about it...

Alrighty.
Street soccer competition was passed.
Lucky we made the quota on Friday.
So far we have around 15-16 teams.
I better start preparing FOOD.
Probably sell canned drinks and stuff like erm.. wedges? Sausages?
People please feedback to me what appeals to you.
Alright man.
Let's go food com.
(:




I've had so much disappointment this week.
It's really going to kill me sooner or later.
Things have gotten so rocky between us.
When i walked away, i kept looking back at you.
You don't even want to look at me anymore.
You said it wasn't worth it to cry for you anymore.
But don't you know.
That these tears can't be held back anymore..
I really do love you..
But.
I don't know how long i can hold on anymore.

7 dreams.
It took only 1 decision to ruin 7 dreams.
We could have gone together, as a team, to represent Singapore in USA.
University of Michigan.
Wow.
Imagine.
It could have been our passport to medical faculty.
Of course the school's so poor that it can't even cough out a single cent.
Of course it's not the principal's fault.
It's our own bloody fault for being poor.

Studies.
I look at everything that i'm doing now and i know i'm heading for doom.
I don't even have the strength to lift myself out of this abyess anymore...

CO.
I don't even know what standard we are at now.
How good are we?
No matter how, we're going to be worse off than the previous CO.
They're much stronger in terms of manpower.
Even if we're really better in terms of musical interpretation.
We'll lose out.
Is no one feeling the pressure?
Reached home around 1145 yesterday.
Mum went on and on at me.
I want to go for practice today but i can't.

I feel...
Stressed.
Angry.
Heart-broken.
Calm.
Accepting.
...
How can anyone feel so much at the same time without bursting?

Wow.
I never imagined it would be so tiring today.
Anyway woke up at 5 and reached school at 615.
Reached SCH at 8 something.
Which was like too early and we spent a long time waiting for the gate to open so we could use the lift to go into the stage area.
The first run sucked totally and i agree with what Vincent said after that.
"Die ah liddat sure bronze."
Ah well.
The second run was much better.
Oh and did i mention i love my xylophone.
Haha.
Liu Lao Shi's student said the xylophone was nice ^__^
Thanks to me and Mabel (:
Haha.
BHB.
Actually the xylophone is pretty good quality.
It was the only instrument in percussion that he did not criticise for sounding like a 10 dollars or 5 dollars instrument.
-.-
Oh and Mdm Hwee cooks killer cha ye dans.
Damn it was so good i ate three.
Haha.
Plus the egg i ate with noodles in the morning for breakfast i think i might just die of a cholesterol high tonight.
Don't be surprised if my picture appears in the orbitury tomorrow.
Lol.
Or i should say i am a greedy pig.
Even Daniel knows how much of an HUGE appetite i have for a girl.
Heh..
In fact Mdm Hwee's cooking is great.
She cooks tons of stuff for us during major events.
Like kong ba pau and dessert and stuff.
Yummy.
Craving for it right now.
X=
Haha.
Mdm Hwee rawks.
(:

Found two songs that i've been searching for for a very long time..
Kissed from a rose by Seal and Fixing a broken heart by Indecent Obsession.
I love oldies.

Today is a happy day.
So happy (:

You don't care.
You don't care who i am.
Where i'm from.
What i did.
As long as i love you.

So you believe in those rumours.
So you believed.

And once again i feel shattered.

I'm in a weird mood.
There.
I shall end here.

This week's passed in the blink of an eye.
Unbearably long lessons aside.
Almost everyday's spent on CO.
I'm not complaining.
I know next time when i look back i've reminsce about the days when we worked so hard together as a CCA.
United in spirit and heart.
I really love them all.
Love my friends.
Love my section.
Yay.
Go perc.
Though we're always pinpointed as the source of all mistakes, we never gave up.
I'm so proud of David and Alvin.
And of course my sweetest Ye Han, Mabel and Vince..
So of course you could imagine my anger when someone wrote "Please disband CO (:" on the feedback board.
The smiley face.
Smirking.
It felt as though someone shoved something down my throat.
Being the sweetest ever, Ye Han messaged me and told me to ignore that creep.
And when Vince said,
"Do you know that person's wish would come true if we got a bronze for SYF?"
I couldn't help but choke a little.
We've worked so far.
Tried so hard.
Come so far.
I'm sure the orchestra would smack a silver medal right back at the person's face.
Now the thing is left in the hands of us percussionists..
Will we ultimately cause the downfall of CO?

Zoned out after practice yesterday.
Could feel my system shutting down..
Woke up with a major headache and slight flu in the morning.
Damn.
I can't afford to fall ill now.
Not at this critical period of time.
I must press on..

I realise i've been taking it out on myself this entire week.
Being angry at everything, and at myself.
Maybe i should go for anger management courses.

Yea.
Sorry Jing Hao.
About yesterday.
That aside.
I think you should have joined CO if you wanted a hectic CCA.
Haha.
But it's fulfilling really.
And good luck Mabel.

JC 2 Block Test 1 Progress Report

Name: Yeo Huimin
Civics Group: 06s19

Chinese Language: A
Economics: C
General Paper: D
Biology: B
Chemistry: C
Mathematics: A

Ranking Points: 69/80
Conduct: Very Good

Remarks:
Huimin has done consistently well throughout the term, despite her heavy involvement in the Chinese Orchestra. The only danger is complacency.


O_O





ARRRRGGGHH



WTF??
*kicks chair*


























So that's it then.
The amount of work i put in is worthless.
I tried.
...
That's so damn hurtful..
:(
Am i complacent?







Avril Lavigne - When You're Gone
I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side
When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do
reminds me of you
And the clothes you left are lying on the floor
And they smell just like you
I love the things that you do
When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you

We were made for each other
I'm here forever I know we were
Oh oh oh oh oh
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I do I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me
Yeah

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you

Yea.
Out of all the songs in Avril's latest album i still like this one the best.
Quite touching..

Congrats to all the 06s19 runners for Group B 10x200m relay!!
Amanda, Tanya, Yihui, Cheryl, Mabel, Jeremy, Xuan Feng, Jing Hao, Gary and Vernon!
Champions!
So damn proud of you all.
You guys rock.
(:
Cheered my heart out for everyone during the heats and the finals.
Wow.
Never seen Richard so crazy before too.
Lol.
Hugged Amanda and Tanya after that.
Haha.
Their joy and enthusiasm was so infectious.
We were crazily jumping around squealing until we regained our composure.
^___^
I love crazy group hugs.
Lalala..

Yea.
So Mr Liu got percussion to practice.
Catered to us personally.
Yea.
Trashed out all the problems for the set piece.
But shit.
Dunno FNJ how.
I think he taught us until want to vomit blood.
Lol.
First me stone, then Vince, then Mabel, then David then Alvin. Then Ye Han.
Lol...
But Liu Lao Shi's very patient.
I hope we don't let him down..
Most importantly i hope we won't let ourselves down.

I miss GZ.
School's been so crazy recently.
I can't seem to find a time to go back.
Next week's their SYF.
I hope they do us proud.
Go guzheng! (:

Sigh.
I dunno how big the cracks are..
Hope they don't get bigger.
Jiayou Huimin.
Don't give up.


Today..
Is the day of liberation.
The day i feel i have rights.
The first time i felt free...
'Cause..
No co today.
I know.
A few more weeks.
But it could mean a critical portion of my grades still..
Everyday go home so late, around 11 plus, straightaway fall asleep le.
I dunno how to go on like that.
I know i have struggle with my tiredness..but i simply don't have the strength to.
I hope we really do get a Silver.
From the standards now we're producing, i know it's probably a COP.
And it's all the fault of my section.
Yesterday i felt so angry with myself.
Haven't been serious in learning all the songs properly.
I know.
Stupid idiotic me.
Liu lao shi was picking on the whole percussion section.
Yea i know we suck.
I swear i will not cause CO to fucking lose points in SYF.

I trained till my hands started to cramp.
Lack of practice i guess.
Stop awhile then trained again.
I will get my drumming skills back up on track.
I swear.

Long teng hu yue sounded nice yesterday.
I hope we rock on concert day.
Percussion solo!
So fun (:
Tanya said she'll come support Mabel and me on the CO Concert.
Oh boy.
I hope the entire OM team turns up.
I'll love them all to bits.
It'll give me greater motivation to train harder.
But yea.
Not everyone likes CO Concerts.
Hope they come though..
*cross fingers*

Was going home together with Ye Han yesterday.
He said i look like a happy-go-lucky girl who's always laughing, joking, smiling..
Then I told him i wasn't.
And he smiled and said,
"I thought you would say so."
Then i started to think..
Am i a hypocrite?
I feel as though i'm struggling to keep a mask on everyday.
But sometimes.
The mask is unavoidable.
How can you expose your emotions entirely to others?
Look where it got me when i did..

Haha.
Went out with Tanya and Amanda to eat and buy stuff today.
Lol.
Went to Pizza Hut to eat.
Boy, i missed the Curry Zazzle baked rice.
Yummy.
^___^
Like the gossipers we are, we talked about everything under the sun.
From people to service to people to people.
I seriously think that the Pizza Hut service at Marina is super good can.
Wah, compare to Jurong and Clementi hoh..
Piangs.
Service at Clementi is the worst sia.
I mean so what if we're students..
We still DO deserve some respect..
The waiter actually brought warm water for us because the air-con was blowing directly at us and Tanya was complaining that she was feeling cold.
I guess i've not seen a such good service for a very long time.
Was so stunned just now when he brought us warm water.
The name of the champion waiter is SUFFY!
*applauds*

Going to school tomorrow to support the class for their relay race.
GO S19!! (:
Jiayou!
^___^

Haven't written in a while.
Right now, i'm in a emo mood.
Things are strained between the both of us recently.
I just pray that.. Sigh.
Feeling weird and lost.
As though i've been thrown into some third dimension that my brain doesn't identify with.
Supposed to be studying Chemical Equilibria but somehow nothing seems to go in.
I hope the test isn't too hard.

Well.
These few weeks i've been busy with Odyssey of the Mind.
All my breaks have been dedicated to doing props and stuff.
All my late nights spent in school.
Till 10.
Till 12.
Though we lost, though we didn't win..
I still think it was worth it.
I got to know my 6 other classmates better.
Cheryl.
Wei Qi.
Darling Amanda.
Tanya.
Jinghao.
Mabel.
Yep.
Before the performance..
It was great.
We cheered as a team..
And at that point of time, it didn't matter whether we had many differences.
What mattered was that we were united in heart and spirit.
And we totally rocked the house down.
Our best ever.
Mr Fong rocks too.
He stayed with us till 12 plus the day before in school..
How many teachers are willing to do that much and go that far for their students..?
As far as i know, maybe can use fingers on both hands to count.
Or maybe toes.
Just wish he wouldn't blame himself too much.
Ah well.
I love all of them to bits.
Haha..

Today it was abit strange..
The first break.
Suddenly it felt as though something was missing.
I guess that sense of urgency has been replaced now.

PW.
Comments came back.
Daniel told me that they wrote faint markings on the comments list.
Squinted a little at the bottom and saw that I got 15/19 for my OP part.
I guess it was pretty ok.
The whole group got C though.
I think all of us didn't expect that.
Super disappointing.
Thinking back, i think we really did put in alot of effort.
The weekends and holidays when we spent long hours pouring over the report...
The long preparation for our presentation..
Sometimes you can't judge a report by how it's written.
Maybe they should mark it on the effort spent.
Ha.
When Singapore stops being so results-orientated and so QC-demanding.. the sky would fall.
Reality sucks doesn't it.

I really hate myself.
I really do.

Decided to post some pictures on my blog.
Pictures of my childhood haha.
I had funky hair.
(:


Yea.
That's me and Beeying in K2.
LOL.
She was in modern dance,
I was in Chinese Dance.
Hated the bloody red costume and the yellow frilly hair thingy.
Haha.


Don't i look like a baby boy?


That's my sister and me.
I had the funkiest ever hairstyle back then.
Spiked somemore.
Lol.
Wasn't I CUTE back then?
Hahaa...


Oh and this is the pattaya rice that the auntie at the malay food stall of SA decorated with mayo for me.
Lol.

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LOVE, HUIMIN